It Seems Never Ending

We are nearing the one-year mark in our adoption process. Well, officially anyway. It's been more than a year since we first saw Baby O's picture and wondered if he was the one. Poor boy in girl's clothing.

 

He's younger and chubbier, but it's still him.

 

I will admit, the closer we get to the one year mark, the wearier I get. It's now been more than a month since we handed him back over to the nannies at the orphanage.

 

Waiting for unknowns is NOT my strong suit. I try to find scripture to help. I pray. A lot. I pray for his health. I pray for his protection in the orphanage. I pray for perseverance. The nannies. His country's government. The process. Distractions.

 

You would think that with three kids, swim team season, summer camps, and birthday season (Yes, we have a birthday season here. June, July, and August. Add in Baby O's birthday in May, and we'll stretch it further.), I would be plenty distracted. Honestly, there's more than enough to do. The washing machine is always running, the kitchen is in constant use, and I have made a list of things to accomplish before we pick him up. I'm grateful.

 

But the waiting. The waiting is like a cloud that looms in the distance. It's there. It's a reminder of what we saw. It's a reminder of how little he is. It reminds me of his fragility. It reminds me that we don't know when we'll get to take the next step. It reminds me that we're not really the ones waiting, he is. He is waiting to get out of a crib, to eat real food, play outside, and a whole host of other things that he doesn't even know is possible while he sits there.

 

And then this morning, I just flip open the Bible and read:

 

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony. with God's own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. - Romans 8:26-28

It doesn't take away the sting. It doesn't shorten the wait. What that passage does, though, is reassure. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God." We may not know what that good is. We may not ever see it, but it is there.

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